i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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