I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
