just tell him i said nine months
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
