nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
