I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
