What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
