I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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