look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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