Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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