Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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