so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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