Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize