So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
