Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
