What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
