i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
