you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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