I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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