Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
