filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
