We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
