I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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