I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
