My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
worst night to have a conscience
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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