Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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