haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
