I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
