but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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