What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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