The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
