Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
