Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
