I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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