She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
