I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
