The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
