the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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