Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize