sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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