I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
