where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
