Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
