im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
