Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize