Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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