When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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