my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
