yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
