You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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