Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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