last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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