I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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