Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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