Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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