I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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