I heard we made out
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize