Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
