omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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