i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
