nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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