i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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