You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
